We'll Make It
by remie.lovely
Summary: The wedding is here. Life beyond the war, beyond the suffering, has begun. And for Ginny and Draco that means some pain, some suffering, a little anger, and maybe just maybe a future they didn't think they could have.
1. God Gave Me You

We'll Make It

Ch.1 God Gave Me You

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own the song used in this chapter either.

A/n: The much(or maybe just in my head) anticipated sequel to Take My Hand. Oh and I now have a Beta. Much thanks to icebabesfire for making sure I don't drive everyone insane with mistakes.

Get up.

Stretch.

Put feet on floor.

Try not to trip on best friend.

Make way to bathroom.

Turn on hot water.

Step into shower.

_I've been a walking heartache_

_I've made a mess of me_

_The person that I've been lately_

_Ain't who I wanna be_

_I know this feeling; the terrible feeling that something was wrong. I had let myself hope. I had let him hope that things would be different this time._

_The knock on the door is loud and quick. He has no reason to knock as we share this bedroom. I understand though. I have missed my last class. And we both know the only reason I would miss a single class. I don't answer him. I can't find my voice. He opens the door gently and shuts it behind him as he walks in._

_I am a curled up mess on the floor. My resolve hadn't even lasted to the bed. He lifts me with ease and places me gently on the bed._

"_Ginny." It's barely a whisper._

"_No more." My voice is weak and cracks._

"_No more." He agrees kneeling down to look me in the eyes. His are filled with tears and soon they are spilling over like mine._

_Together we cry._

_We cry all that night._

_And we cry as we tell our families._

_And we cry as we spend an afternoon at the healer's office._

Step out of shower.

Dry hair.

Wrap self in warm towel.

Walk back to bedroom.

Wake best friend.

_But you stay here right beside me_

_And watch as the storm blows through_

_And I need you_

"_Pansy's pregnant." I drop my school books on the kitchen table in our small apartment._

"_I know, Blaise told me." He is walking on eggshells. I could sense it. It has only been about six weeks since the miscarriage._

"_I'm happy for her." I take a step closer to him and he stands from his seat at the table._

"_But?" He takes a step towards me in return._

"_It hurts." I crash into his chest and let the tears fall._

"_I know."_

Put on ridiculous lingerie.

Make note to never let friend's pick out anything again.

Listen as people around house prepare.

Smile when his voice carries up the stairs.

_Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs_

_God gave me you for the days of doubt_

_And for when I think I lost my way_

_There are no words here left to say, it's true_

_God gave me you_

_Gave me you_

"_It's a boy!" Blaise smiles triumphantly and I plaster on my happy face._

"_Congratulations" He smiles and listens intently as his best friend describes the tiny infant we can hear wailing even though Pansy's room is down the hall._

_I hate this place. And all I want to do is run. But I can't. In two weeks' time, I'll be working here. And I'll be forced to let go of the pain and jealously or be consumed by it again. No, it's time to let go._

_I stand and mentally give myself a slap to get it together. Then I follow my friend's to go and congratulate my friend's on their new baby._

Sit still while sister-in-law applies makeup.

Sit still while friend braids hair into an intricate up do.

Breathe deeply and calm nerves while group of girls in the room get themselves ready.

_There's more here than what we're seeing_

_A divine conspiracy_

_That you, an angel lovely_

_Could somehow fall for me_

_You'll always be love's great martyr_

_And I'll be the flattered fool_

_And I need you_

"_You said this couldn't happen. You put her on the best birth control money can buy!" His voice is angry and I feel bad for Healer Smith who looks like he may pass out. This will probably be the last time we come to his office. I want to be sympathetic but after all this is his fault._

"_I know. It shouldn't have happened. It must be her heritage. The Weasley family is known for being extremely fertile. For all we know, this pregnancy may be viable. You should, perhaps, calm down a bit and have some hope. She hasn't had a miscarriage." The healer is visibly shaking and at this point is saying whatever he can think of to get us to leave._

"_Yet" He snarls taking my hand and leading me out of the office slamming the door behind him._

"_You were, perhaps, a bit over the top in there." I whisper as we step out into the chilly afternoon. January had been especially cold this year._

"_I'm sorry. I want to believe. I want it to be different this time. But then again I'm afraid to hope. I'm afraid of letting myself believe again. "He wraps an arm around my waist protectively. Across the street an elderly couple smiles at us. I hope we can be like them someday; still madly in love after decades together._

"_I know. We'll just have to wait and see. I guess I should find a new healer now." I smile up at him. We both know what waiting and seeing will bring. It's just the inevitable coming round again. "Let's not tell anyone this time."_

"_Alright love." He kisses the top of my head and we make the short walk back to our flat together._

Smile as the dress is pulled out of the closet.

It belonged to my mother.

It is simple but elegant.

It is strapless and white with a lace overlay.

I love it.

It is perfect.

_God gave me you for the ups and downs_

_God gave me you for the days of doubt_

_And for when I think I lost my way_

_There are no words here left to say, it's true_

_God gave me you_

_I throw the vase and it hits the wall and shatters. I slide down until I'm all curled up in a ball. He walks through the door and spots the mess._

"_No" His voice is sad. I know why. We had agreed to not be hopeful. We had agreed to not believe. And then weeks began to pass. And yet nothing happened. Then today, at ten weeks, the bleeding started. I was at work so I just asked a friend to do a quick exam. And my fears are confirmed._

"_We knew" I cry and he crosses the room to come sit next to me. "We knew and yet when it didn't happen after a little while we just." It wasn't even a full sentence or thought. But he knew what I was getting at._

"_Now what do we do?" He asks. I lean into his chest and close my eyes._

"_I don't know."_

I slip it on.

It fits perfectly.

Everyone in the room smiles and offers a compliment.

I slide my feet into my shoes.

They aren't even heels.

They are pure white soft ballet flats.

On heels, I will sink in the grass outside.

On heels, I may stumble and fall.

On flat shoes, I am safe.

_On my own I'm only_

_Half of what I could be_

_I can't do without you_

_We are stitched together_

_And what love has tethered_

_I pray we never undo_

"_I don't see why you are so angry!" I shout._

"_Why? You are taking away our ability to ever have children! Why wouldn't I be angry?" He slams his fist down on the counter and I cringe._

"_I didn't take that away from you. Bickman took that from us. Or do you not remember? How many more times do you want me to go through this? How many more times do you want to go through this?" I don't understand how he can't understand._

"_We just need to prevent it for now. Maybe in a few years there will be a treatment or something. Please, I don't think this is the right thing to do now." He is begging now. But I know better than he does. I work in this field. There will never be a way to fix what was done to me and I explain this to him. But he just stands there and I'm sure he is shaking in anger._

"_I've made up my mind. I am going to go through with this. I just wish you could support me." I plead my case one last time before turning and going to our bedroom._

_I wait for him to follow me._

_I wait for a long time. But he doesn't come._

_I wait until I am exhausted and then I fall asleep alone._

And now it's time.

I can see everyone in their seats out the window.

I stand in the kitchen with my father.

I can see tears beginning to gather in his eyes.

He smiles down at me as the music begins to play.

I wrap my hand around his arms.

I take a deep breath and try not to cry.

He kisses me on the forehead.

And then he opens the door and we step outside.

It's time.

_Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs_

_God gave me you for the days of doubt._

_God gave me you for the ups and downs_

_God gave me you for the days of doubt_

_And for when I think I lost my way_

_There are no words here left to say, it's true_

_God gave me you, gave me you._

_He gave me you._

"_Forgive me, love" He whispers. We are sitting on a bench in the park._

"_I have already forgiven you about a thousand times." I say. He had already apologized for our fight several times since that night._

"_I know. It's just that our wedding is in a week and I don't want us to have any unresolved issues." He holds my hand in his and I lay my head down on his shoulders._

"_Nothing is unresolved. In a week we will be married and five days after that is the procedure." We never really talk about it. We hadn't really discussed it since we had made up and then spoken to the healer to make the arrangements. And I knew he wasn't going to talk about it now._

"_Alright then." He kissed the top of my head. "Are you ready for our wedding?"_

"_I feel like I've been waiting a lifetime to be Mrs. Draco Malfoy."_

"_I know the feeling, love"_

I say a silent prayer. Even though I know that with my shoes, I shouldn't trip, I'm still afraid I will. And if I did my father would catch me. My nerves make me want to throw up. Or maybe I'm getting sick. It doesn't matter. Because regardless of whether I throw up or trip on my way down the aisle, he will be waiting at the end.

I look up for the first time as we reach the back of the crowd. The first few rows are filled with familiar faces. My mom stands with tears in her eyes and a sleeping baby in her arms. I figure it is probably Fred's baby girl Amanda. His ex-girlfriend had just up and left in the middle of the night shortly after the baby was born. Fred had taken to being a single father quite well but every now and again our mom would step in when he seemed overwhelmed. Bill and Fleur both gave me and encouraging smile. Charlie and Anna each are holding one of their newly adopted daughter's hands. Her name is Clarissa and she even beams with happiness though I doubt she has managed to learn all of our names yet. Percy and his wife both smile though I know they disapprove of my choice in groom. Fred and George are standing together and for a moment I am afraid they are planning a prank. But Fred catches a glimpse of his sleeping daughter and shakes his head at George who just shrugs and smiles. Ron has his arms wrapped protectively around Hermione and her growing pregnant belly. The jealously twinges for a moment but my joy at the day allows me overcome it.

Across the aisle, Blaise is bouncing baby Tristan in his arms while Pansy wipes the happy tears out of her eyes. Next to them I'm surprised to see Harry but I know he will be wherever Azlyn is. And sure enough she has her arms wrapped around him not even trying to stop the tears falling from her eyes.

We've reached the end of the aisle and for the first time I look up at him. I've never seen him happier and I know that we are ready for this.

The officiator is speaking but I only catch bits and pieces. All we care about in this moment is each other. And when Draco speaks, I am caught off guard because I haven't even realized how much time has passed.

"I do" A single tear rolls down his cheek and I smile. This is how I have pictured this moment for months. Every bit of stress, loss, and hurt has led us to here. I am certain, right here and now that I will be happy. I know where I belong. So when my turn comes to speak, I have no doubt.

"I do" It's done. We are married. Nothing could ruin this day.

The priest makes it official and we kiss quickly. We have never been ones for huge displays of public affection but no one doubts the depth of our love. I don't even realize that I am crying until he gently wipes a tear away with his thumb.

We turn and face the crowd. Everyone is cheering in a mix of laughter and tears. We make our way back into the house to spend only a few moments alone. Outside, I know everyone is busy. In only minutes, the lovely arch, aisle and chairs will disappear to be replaced with a tent to keep away the sun as we party. A celebration will begin, that will probably carry on until after dark.

"We're married." Draco grins. I am unsure if I have ever seen him this happy before.

"I know. You look rather handsome today Mr. Malfoy." I keep one hand in his. I'm sure that I have never been this happy before.

"You look quite beautiful yourself Mrs. Malfoy." It sounds so strange to be Mrs. Anything. But I will definitely get used to it.

Even though it feels like it has only been a minute and it may have only been that long, we are interrupted by Azlyn who opens the door and peaks in at us.

"It's time. Let's go."

The party goes on after dark, as I expected. And by the time we apparate away, it is nearing midnight.

The beach house we are staying at is secluded. There is no city noise like in our apartment, only the ocean.

And for a few days it is just me, him and the ocean. We lose ourselves in each other and forget about the world waiting for us when we get home.

Here we are just the newly married Draco and Ginevra Malfoy. I couldn't be happier.


	2. Unexpected

**Ch. 2 Unexpected**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**A/n: I know this chapter is really short. But it needed to end where it did. Much thanks as always to all my readers and reviewers. And always my wonderful beta icebabesfire.**

I'm up long before the sun the day of my appointment. I make my way down the stairs careful not to trip in the darkness. Once in the living room, I flip a switch on the wall and the room is flooded with light.

All of the furniture is push against the wall or stacked in a corner with boxes covering almost everything. Clearly we need to unpack before going back to work.

I make my way through all the stacks until I come across the one I'm looking for. I take out my wand and wave it so the tape just disappears. I bend over the box and rummage until I come across what I am looking for.

I have no idea how long I am sitting on the floor flipping through the pages when I hear footsteps on the stairs and turn around to face Draco as he comes into the room.

"Gin?" He sits on the floor next to me. "You should have woken me when you got up."

"You looked so peaceful; I didn't want to disturb you. What time is it anyway?"

"Seven thirty. Do you want me to make you some coffee or breakfast?"

"I can't eat before going in. I think I'm going to go take a shower." I stand stretching out my limbs.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" His eyes are hurt and I know he wants to come with me, but I just can't handle him being there.

"I'm sure. Maybe you can make lunch when I get back though." I smile trying to lighten the mood. A smile makes its way to his face but I know it's forced. There is nothing I can do now. Nothing will ever make today okay for either of us.

After my shower, I dry off and begin rummaging through the little clothes I have bothered to unpack for a pair of comfortable sweatpants and one of Draco's old shirts. There is no use trying to dress up for this.

As I make my way back downstairs and into the kitchen, I hear the sound of dishes stacking in a cabinet and I know Draco is unpacking the kitchen to keep himself busy.

"You all set?" He doesn't even look in my direction and I try not to cry.

"Yep, I'll see you in a little while." I hold my voice even. I am far too good at hiding pain. "I love you." I add, as an afterthought. He knows and so do I that this day could tear us apart. We have discussed it and agreed, but he doesn't want it. And I know. And I'm afraid. There is a good chance he may resent me for this and that will be the end of us. I have no choice though; I refuse to let myself feel that kind of loss again.

So when he doesn't answer, I turn and leave. I duck my head as I enter the clinic where the procedure will be done. The healer has done me a huge favor by doing this here instead of at St. Mungo's which is where it is normally done. It is one of the things that make me grateful for the money Draco's last name brought me and the fear. People tend to go out of their way to accommodate me and for the most part I don't allow it. But here, I welcome it.

It isn't long before I am sitting in an exam room wearing a hospital gown and nothing else. I wait only a few minutes before the healer walks in.

"Morning" He greets me and I notice he has left out the good that usually begins the statement. I am grateful. He knows why I'm here. He knows I wish there was another way.

"Healer Ginger" I nod my head at him in acknowledgment.

"Before I begin the procedure, I'm going to do an ultrasound on you and make sure that everything is normal. Have you ever had an ultrasound before?"

I nod my head. Suddenly, my throat has closed. It's impossible to speak and hard to breathe. The only thing I can do to keep myself from crying when he turns on the machine and puts the gel on my stomach is to shut my eyes. I expect there to be a long silence but instead there is something else. I'm sure I am losing my mind and I have to know so I open my eyes to be sure.

On the screen in front on me where there should be emptiness there is something else. An almost baby like figure and I'm sure I am no longer breathing. The sound coming from the machine is a heartbeat.

"Mrs. Malfoy, you're pregnant. And by the looks of it you're about thirteen weeks." He keeps one hand on the part of the machine touching my stomach and the other begins to flip through my file. "None of your past pregnancies have made it to this point. Not since your first pregnancy. What do you want to do?"

"I.. I need to talk to my husband." I am sure that I am still not breathing. Hell, I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming at this point or perhaps dead. That must be it. I stopped breathing and am now dead. I dig my nails into my palm and there is pain. Nope, I'm not dead. This is real. This is happening.

He nods his head knowingly and presses a button on the machine. After cleaning the gel off my stomach he hands me a little picture. A picture of the child inside me and leaves the room wishing me luck.

Before getting dresses I place a hand on my stomach. I'm sure there hadn't been the almost invisible bump there only yesterday.

"Just hold on little one. Please. I need you to just hang in there." I whisper. Damn, I'm hopeful again.

When I get home, I notice immediately that all of the boxes are gone. Draco has been very busy. I was only gone for a couple hours. I head for the kitchen when I hear noises from that general direction. He's cooking what looks like pasta and hasn't even noticed my return. I sit down on a chair at the table and just watch him for a moment before he looks up and sees me, almost jumping out of his skin.

"Bloody hell, Ginny!" He waves his wand over the pot and the pasta starts cooking itself. "How long have you been there?"

"Only a minute or so. I didn't want to disturb you."

"You're supposed to stay in bed for two days after the procedure. Come on, up to bed with you." He holds his hand out for mine but I don't take it. I do however; stand up to look him in the eyes.

"I'm pregnant." It's barely a whisper. There are tears in my eyes. I'm so confused, by everything.

I swear we are standing there just staring at each other for the longest time before the smoke alarm starts to beep alerting us that lunch is now burning. Draco turns off the stove and moves the pot to another burner to cool. His face is hardened almost angrily when he speaks again.

"Here we go again." He swallows hard and I can tell he is holding back tears. He thinks this is just like every other time.

"I'm thirteen weeks." My voice is stronger this time. Thirteen weeks is a fighting chance for us. I wait for him to say something, to find the hope I've found but it doesn't come. He walks out of the room somewhere upstairs a door slams a few minutes later. I cringe and take a deep breath.

Once I've settled myself into the sofa in our living room, I pull out my cell phone and make a call.

"Ginny, my darling, how was the beach?" The cheerful voice answers the phone.

"Calvin, do you have any opening tomorrow?" Calvin worked in the office next to mine at St. Mungo's. I took patients with normal, uncomplicated pregnancies. Calvin was the expert on complicated and high risk pregnancies. And after several miscarriages, that was exactly what this was.

"I'm booked all day, who needs the appointment?"

"I do" My stomach does a weird knot and I don't know why. Without even thinking, I place a hand on my stomach and have a moment of déjà vu.

"If you keep rubbing your stomach like that, you might rub all the skin off." Pansy laughs looking up from her homework.

"Ha Ha Ha, I think it relaxes her so if my skin comes off at least Merci will be happy." I smile. I hadn't even realized I was doing it.

"And that is all that matters." Draco is sitting on the floor and as he speaks he turns up to look at me. In this moment I am happy.

"Ginny? Are you still there?" Calvin's voice brings me back to the present.

"Yes, I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"You're pregnant?" He was sliding into Healer mode and I understood. He knew about my history and he understood what me coming to him with this news meant.

"Yes, about thirteen weeks."

"Come in at four-thirty tomorrow. I'll just see you after my regular hours."

"Are you sure? I don't want to make your day longer than it needs to be."

"Ginny, I know how much this pregnancy matters to you, so I am going to do everything I can to get you a baby. So I will see you and Draco tomorrow at four-thirty."

"Alright, I'll see you then. Thanks Calvin."

"Anytime love"

After hanging up the phone I take a deep breath and make my way upstairs. Draco is sitting on the floor of one of the empty bedrooms up stairs.

"Draco" I shut the door and stand against the wall for a moment until he stands and walks over to me.

"All I can think of is the look you had on your face when Merci died. Then I relive how close you came to dying before we left school, and, finally, all the miscarriages. I was ready for it to be over. We were going to adopt. No more would I have to watch you suffer; which was why I agreed to this to begin with. But here we are. And I'm terrified."

"I am too. But I am going to do whatever I can to have this baby. I feel like this is a sign. And we can't ignore it." It's not even noon and I am emotionally and physically drained.

"What do we do now?" He runs a hand through his hair. Having a baby was long ago written out of our plans so we are unprepared.

"I called Calvin. He wants me to come in at four-thirty. We'll see what he says and then go from there." I lean into his chest and yawn. "I forgot how exhausting pregnancy was. But I'm terrified to enjoy it. I'm terrified to even tell anyone."

"Then we won't tell anyone. Not until we know the baby can survive if you have to deliver early. And you need to enjoy it. Because being stressed out all the time won't help. Go take a nap and I'll start lunch over again."

We leave the empty room together and just before we split up so he can go downstairs and I can go to our bedroom, I turn to him again.

"What if we have a baby?"

"Then I will have fulfilled my promise to you."

"What promise?"

"The promise that one day you would be back at St. Mungo's delivering a baby on your terms; a baby that will get to grow up with us." He kissed the top of my head before descending the stairs.

And I am left to nap and dream of a baby that is mine.


	3. Have A Little Hope

**Ch. 3 Have A Little Hope**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**A/n: This story is taking longer than anticipated. And also , I now have a brand new laptop. A gaming laptop in which I use to play the sims. **

**Much love to my beta icebabesfire.**

Calvin's office is empty when Draco and I arrive the next morning. And Gavin is waiting for us in the empty waiting room.

"I figured you probably don't want the whole hospital to know your business." He smiles and leads us back into an exam room. "Bet you got the shock of your life at your appointment yesterday?"

"Nothing surprises me anymore. My life has been nothing but some insane roller coaster ever since my fifth year of school." I answer while I'm changing into a gown behind a curtain.

Draco hasn't said a word since we left the house this morning. I am beginning to think he expect the ultrasound today to reveal a dead child. He will probably expect this outcome every time we do this up until he is either right or we get a baby. I don't blame him. I should probably share his fears but I don't. 'Stupid hormonal emotional attachment' I think to myself as I push the curtain away and try to gracefully sit down on the exam table.

"So this is the plan. Today I'm going to give you another ultrasound because you know that there are a total of two Healers I trust to do this job correctly and they are both in this room." I laugh at his joke but don't say anything because I know he isn't done speaking yet. "Once I confirm that the Healer you saw yesterday isn't a complete moron, I'll move on to where we go from here. Is everyone okay with that?"

Draco just nods and I try to give Calvin an encouraging smile before he begins working. Two minutes later and I hear the sound again. The sound that gave me hope the day before. It is the steady rhythm of my baby's heartbeat. I steal a glance at Draco who has moved to stand next to the table. His face has lost the mask of no emotion and has been replaced by the Draco I've only seen a few times before. It was the face he had when I woke up from near death after a curse nearly destroyed me. I hadn't realized it before but suddenly I am relieved by this reaction. I don't know what I expected but it definitely wasn't this.

"There is your baby" Calvin points to a tiny moving spot on the screen and smiles. "It would appear the Healer has a brain. You are looking about thirteen weeks. And from what I see this looks like a normal properly progressing pregnancy." He turns the machine off and wipes the gel off of my stomach. I sit completely up on the table and take a deep breath waiting for what he has to say next.

"You are going to come and see me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at four thirty. That way we aren't cutting into our work day. Every time I see you, I'll examine you and give you an ultrasound. For right now, you can go back to work when your honeymoon is over. When I tell you, and it will come darling, that you are to go home and lay down and not get up again until you are walking around with your newborn, you will do it. There are plenty of capable healers, though not as fabulous as you and I, who will be able to take over for you while you are gone. As long as you agree to do as I say. And understand that you know your body better than anyone else. If you feel something isn't right, you call me immediately. I don't care if it is nine in the morning and I am delivering a baby or if it is three in the morning and I am sleeping. You are probably the highest risk of any of my mothers given your history. This baby is now your highest priority. Take your vitamins and stay off of your feet as much as possible. And I will see you on Monday. Any questions?"

I shake my head and hop of the table; my brain spinning with dreams and wishes of our child.

"Why don't we step out and let Ginny get dressed then?" Calvin motions for Draco to follow him out of the room. I know that they are about to discuss something about me, something Calvin doesn't want me to know. As I get dressed, I make a mental note to ask Draco about it later. But by the time we leave the hospital and arrive back home, I have forgotten.

My empty house is now filled with children in my head. I know this is irrational but I can no longer help it. I spend my entire evening propped up on the sofa exploring the world of internet shopping. I am glad that my job requires me to be more knowledgeable about muggle technology then other professions. By the time Draco and I sit down for dinner. I have made a list and changed it at least ten times of my favorite baby items.

"When should we tell our family?" Draco asks as he sits down at the table.

"Not yet. I know I am going to be showing in not much longer. So we can't wait forever, especially since we have lunch with them every Sunday. I just don't want it to jinx anything. I don't want to have to tell them we have lost another baby so for now we lie. Are you okay with that?" Our happy day has become very serious. I have a feeling that life will continue like this until my pregnancy ends in happiness or despair.

"I'll do whatever you want to do. It's your body and I respect how you feel about this. Is there anyone at all you want to tell now?"

"No, I know Azlyn will probably be pissed when she finds out that I haven't told her something this important but for right now I think it should just be us."

He reaches across the table and holds my hand. For a few minutes we just sit in silence absorbing. This will also probably be happening a lot. It's going to be a long eight months. But if all goes well, it will be completely worth it.

Sunday morning arrives with me hugging the toilet and feeling terrible. Draco spends almost an hour trying to convince me that we should just stay home but I remind him that we had been gone the week before and that we have to show up this week or everyone will think something was going on. Thankfully by the time we arrive at the burrow, I am feeling better.

"Ginny!" My mother hugs me so tightly that you would believe I had been gone a year not a week.

"I need to breath at some point." I choke out and she laughs releasing me so she can hug my husband as well.

"Everyone is outside." She leads us through the house to the backyard where everyone has already arrived.

"Ginny and Draco, fashionably late as always" George laughs as his arm snakes around the waist of a woman I don't recognize. "Gin, this is Katherine. Katherine, this is my sister Ginny and her husband Draco."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Katherine has an accent but I can't seem to place where it is from. I greet her and smile before turning to greet everyone else. In less than five minutes my arms are filled with a baby and I smile down at Tristan, who grabs tightly to my shirt and doesn't let go.

"Now that everyone is here" Ron gives me a pointed look. "Hermione and I have an announcement to make." He smiles and pulls Hermione into his arms and rests a hand over her stomach. The twinge of jealousy I had at my wedding is now long gone; replaced with a strange fluttering sensation in my abdomen. "We found out the gender of the baby on Friday and decided that now was a good time to let everyone know that it's a boy."

Cheers erupt all around us. For my parents this is the first biological grandson, not like that really matters. My parents have been doting grandparents to Tristan as well. Soon enough it will be our turn to stand in front of our family and do this. We have done it before but with this baby, something is different. I can't explain it but I can feel it. I turn to Draco and we share a look, to my family and friends we are celebrating with everyone else. But to us, it's everything.

As lunch finishes and everyone scatters, Hermione pulls me aside.

"How was the beach?" She asks but I know there is something else on her mind.

"It was warm and sandy. And I loved every minute of it. But that is not what you came over here to talk to me about is it?"

"No, it's not. I was so much better at subtlety before pregnancy brain kicked in. I just feel guilty. Because we have such wonderful news and I know you were having that procedure last week. Ron doesn't understand and he thinks I'm being silly. But are you okay? Which is such a stupid question I know." She is beginning to ramble but I put up my hand and smile to stop her.

"I'm doing really well actually. I thought this week would be hard but it's been surprisingly not what I expected at all." I feel slightly bad for the lie. But I am sick of the pity and talks like these every time a baby is coming. It's part of why we are just not telling them that I am pregnant. If this baby dies, we are done. Ha, it's not like we haven't said that before. We were done. I was essentially getting fixed. But fate had other plans for me. It seemed to always be having other plans for me.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. You should probably go save Ron though." I point behind her to where three of my brothers are clustered together. Fred and George look way too happy at whatever is going on and Ron looks terrified. Without a word, Hermione runs off in the direction of her husband. I laugh quietly to myself before rejoining my husband across the yard. He is holding baby Tristan in his arms. He is going to be a wonderful father.

"He gets more and more adorable every time I see him Pansy." Even though I am talking to her, I am fixated on her son. I start playing peek-a-boo with the now laughing infant while his mother responds.

"I know. Blaise and I have some pretty awesome genes." She laughs and Blaise smiles proudly at the compliment.

"Personally, I think our genes may be better than yours." Draco smirks and I roll my eyes.

"It's too bad we'll never know then." Pansy face turns dark and my stomach does another flip. I resist the urge to place my hand there. It was how I calmed Merci down and would be a dead giveaway that a new life is trying hard to make it.

"So what is everyone over here talking about?" Azlyn walks over pulling Harry behind her.

"Who has the better genes." Draco laughs trying to gloss over Pansy's comment. It is somehow painful keeping our secret from our closest friends.

"Oh, well, that would be Harry and I, of course." Azlyn smiles, wrapping an arm around Harry.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see about that then." Blaise rolls his eyes but then realizes what he is saying and now we are back to Pansy comment.

"Stop with the sad serious looks. We'll have kids one day. Somehow. So quit acting like I'm going to lose it whenever we talk about stuff like this." I reply and the mood comes back around to happy.

"So when are you two going to tie the knot?" Draco changes the subject completely.

"When we decide to. And that is the best answer you are going to get." Azlyn replies. Everyone has been betting on when they will and they know it. All they don't know is who bet on when. And so they tell us nothing.

"Ah, no fair." Pansy complains.

"You know what isn't fair? Betting on when two people are going to get married. That is just plain wrong." Harry sighs.

"You just have no sense of humor. It's all in good fun." I tell Harry.

"If you say so." Azlyn answers.

By the time we return home, I am exhausted and the sun hasn't even set outside.

"This is harder than anticipated." Draco says as soon as we are in our home.

"It's only going to get harder. It's nearly September. Soon we will all be crammed in the house for these get togethers." I sigh, kicking off my shoes. Without warning, Draco lifts me off of my feet and begins carrying me up the stairs. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Calvin said you should stay off of your feet as much as possible and yet for most of the day you have been on your feet. I am going to run you a bath then go make dinner. Tonight, we are eating in bed, and then you will get some sleep. We both have to be at the hospital early tomorrow." He places me on my feet only once we are in our bathroom. I undress while he runs the bathwater. While I wait I look in the mirror. I still hold the scars from my school days. They stand out against my pale skin. Every once in a while, I find random strands of blue hair amongst my normally red hair. I am not even nineteen yet, and yet I feel like I am much older most days.

The only thing that is new, and yet comfortably familiar, is the bump protruding slightly from my lower abdomen. I place my hand over it and say a silent prayer for Merci and the babies who hadn't lived long enough to even get a name. And then I pray for the baby who I need to live to get a name. Who I need to live.

"You're bath is ready love." Draco steps behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. He places one hand over mine. "She would have been about four now."

"I know." I swallow hard. We never talk about this. I step into the tub and sink into the hot water before turning to look at my husband. "Remember when you asked me back then about wanting to keep Merci?"

"Yes, I remember." He sits on the edge of the tub and waits for me to go on.

"I lied. I wanted to keep her. Badly. If she hadn't died, I don't know if I could have given her up." I take a deep breath and wait for his response.

"I know. And I knew back then. I had been moving some of my savings into a separate account so we could take care of her if you decided to keep her. I wanted to be able to show you I could take care of both of you."

"I don't know what to say." I admit sinking down into the warm water.

"We can't live in the 'what if'. It would drive us both insane. Let's enjoy this feeling now. And no matter how much we know we shouldn't have hope, we do. We have hope and we enjoy it while it's here regardless of how things turn out." He kisses me on the forehead.

"How did I manage to get the best husband in the world?" I smile.

"You made me the way I am. I am the lucky one." He returns the smile before leaving the room.

"I have hope for you. So don't let me down, baby." As I speak the butterfly feeling returns and I can't imagine a life where this child doesn't survive.


	4. The Truth Won't Set You Free

**Ch.4 The Truth Won't Set You Free**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter, but I don't.**

**A/n: Okay so it definitely wasn't my fault, well completely my fault this took so long. After getting my new compter, I lost my flash drive with all of my fanfiction on it (still can't find it and am very upset about it). After searching everywhere I could possibly think of, I gave up and had to start this chapter over. I had a partial on that flash drive. Then when I tried to send it off to my Beta, it wouldn't actually get to her for some reason so after a week passed, I tried again and now here it is. I liked the original better, but so much time had passed I couln't quite remember how it went. **

**And also I'm thinking of a new story so...I've been distracted. Much love to all. -Remie**

Three weeks pass by peacefully. We hide our secret at every family lunch we go to. September begins and Hermione, Azlyn, and Blaise begin going back and forth to Hogwarts every day. Hermione teaches Transfiguration now that Professor McGonagall is the new Headmistress. Azlyn teaches defense against the dark arts and Blaise is teaching potions now. They are joined with some of our other classmates. Luna is teaching charms and Neville teaches Herbology. Luna and Azlyn are the youngest Professors to ever be hired at Hogwarts, which is a very big deal.

At night when we are home though, I feel wonderful. I am not hiding my pregnancy here. My small baby bump sticks out in everything I wear and my hand is constantly resting over it. Every time the baby moves my heart skips excitingly and also aches painfully for the daughter I never got to know. And for all the others who never stood a chance. I'm getting attached. And now, losing this baby isn't even an option.

Draco hovers all the time. Even at work, I run into him much more than I should in a day. I try to just accept it. I know this is hard for him but I almost wish Calvin would put me on bed rest so I can get away from him.

It's Friday and I am hiding out in my office catching up on some paperwork while deciding which healers will take which of my patients when Calvin finally sends me away from my work. I'm almost finished with what I am doing when someone knocks on the door.

"Come in" I respond without even looking up.

"Wow, you've done really well for yourself Weasley." I look up at the voice I haven't heard in years. Standing in front of me is Draco's ex-girlfriend Kristen.

"It's Malfoy now." I look at her curiously; I haven't seen her since before Merci died. She didn't even return to Hogwarts after the war. "But assuming you keep up with the Prophet, which I think you do since you found me, you already know that."

"I did. I have been living out of the country for the last few years. I came into quite a bit of money right before Dumbledore was murdered. I decided that since I was in town I would visit you. And enlighten you about your darling new husband." She is smirking and it is aggravating.

"What on earth could you possibly know about my husband that I don't know?"

"Well, for one, did you know he isn't above paying someone off to keep you from finding something out?" Her smirk is now a full smile. It's creepy and I want her to go away.

"I doubt that. Draco and I have no secrets."

"Are you so sure about that? Because I have a big one for you, but if you don't want to know what he paid me several hundreds of thousands of galleons to do, I'll just leave." She stands to leave but my curiosity gets the better of me.

"Wait, what is it?" She's won and she knows it as she sits back down all triumphant. This is not what I need today.

"Well right after he dumped me for your pathetic ass, I discovered I was pregnant. And you can imagine how Draco reacted to the news I was having his baby."

"You're lying" I am trying to keep a straight face. I will not let her know that she is bothering me.

"I wish I was. No matter how much of a bitch I am, I'm not a huge fan of letting this secret out. It's not like I want your husband. But I am enjoying your reaction."

"So he paid you to disappear with his kid?" I am now angry at her. Angry at Draco. Angry at the world. And my head is beginning to hurt.

"No, darling, if I had taken off with the kid, I would still be collecting money from him. But Draco didn't want to take the chance of me having a boy that would then become his heir. Now do you understand what I am telling you?" The triumphant look is gone. She is no longer enjoying my pain as she watches me grasp what she is saying.

"He paid you to terminate your pregnancy? How much was your baby's life worth then?" My jaw is clenched and my stomach is starting to hurt. This isn't a good sign.

"Here I'll show you." She pulls a slip of paper out of her bag and slides it across my desk towards me. I pick it up and realize it's an account transfer slip from Gringotts. And suddenly everything she is saying is true. I hand the slip back to her and stand a bit too quickly. A wave of dizziness wraps around me and I have to grab the edge of my desk to steady myself.

"Are you alright?" She takes a step towards me awkwardly as if afraid she has now caused me to become ill.

"I'm fine. I have to go. No offense but I really hope I don't see you anytime soon." I slip out of my office without looking back. My stomach is still hurting and I know I should go see Calvin, but now I am searching for Draco. Normally he is everywhere but today I have to go all the way to his office to find him. The dizziness is still bothering me and I'm seeing spots by the time I walk into his office. The door slams shut behind me and he jumps up from his desk.

"Ginny?" He looks worried and all I can think about is what Kristen just told me. I feel sick so I drop into a chair in front of his desk and try desperately not to throw up all over his office.

"I just had an interesting visitor." I manage to choke out. Now I sound horrible too. I really should have just gone to Calvin.

"Love, are you okay?" He moves to his knees in front of me and places a hand on my leg. But I jerk away from him causing my chair to almost flip but he catches it and gives me a strange look. "What is wrong with you, Ginny?"

"Did you pay Kristen to get rid of your baby?" I blurt out. The spots are now blocking him from my view.

"Ginny, I…" But I don't catch the end because I pass out.

When I wake up, I'm in a hospital bed. Draco is sitting in a chair next to me. He just stares at me when I open my eyes until the door opens and Calvin walks in.

"Ah, my favorite patient who also doesn't take good care of herself." He rolls his eyes sitting on the edge of my bed. "You, my darling, are slightly anemic and also dehydrated."

"So am I now confined to a bed?" I want to just focus on Calvin. I can't even look at my husband. Everything is different. And my heart hurts. You would think I would be used to my heart being broken by now but I guess not.

"Not yet, but you seriously need to keep your stress down and drink more water Gin. I know this job is rough but if you don't take care of yourself, I'll confine you to this hospital."

"Trust me; it has nothing to do with my job." I reply and suddenly I am crying. "Damn hormones. Can you give us a minute Calvin?"

"Sure thing, love, I'll just go and get all your discharge stuff together so you can go home. Rest up this weekend and you can come back Monday but only if there is no pain or dizziness, got it?"

"Yes, thank you Calvin."

Once he is gone I have no choice but to face Draco.

"This is not how you should have found out. I can't believe she just showed up here." He is angry. I can tell by how tightly he is gripping the blanket on my hospital bed. His knuckles are turning white.

"How should I have found out Draco? When were you going to tell me? Or were you not going to tell me at all?"

"She came to me about a week before Merci was born. And back then the only baby I wanted was the one you had. I couldn't stand the thought of her getting all of my money. So I did the only thing I could think of to keep it from happening. I was going to tell you after Merci was born. But everything changed that night. You were hurting so bad and telling you that I had just effectively killed my own child was not an option. And then there was war and you were still so broken. After which you hated me for a while for another secret I was too pathetic to tell. Then you were dying and I did not want that to add on to what was already going on in your head. Every time, we've lost a baby, I have hated myself a little bit more. If I could go back I would change the things I've done. But I can't and I'm sorry." He won't even look at me as he talks which is fine. Because sitting here listening to him just makes me feel sick again.

"Hand me my phone, I'm going to see if I can stay with Azlyn for a while." He doesn't say anything else as he walks across the room to my bag and pulls out my phone.

Azlyn answers on the second ring.

"Ginny!" I can almost see her smile in my head every time she answers the phone. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves and my voice.

"Hey, I need a favor. Actually I need a big favor." Draco is now looking out the window. He is hiding his face from mine. Briefly I wonder how and if we can come back from this. We've done it before and now that we are married with a child on the way, we will have to again.

"Anything for you, if you've murdered someone, I know a few good places to hide the body." She laughed and I can't help but let out a small giggle. Draco flinches as if my laughter is now painful to him.

"I actually need a place to stay for a bit." I choke back my tears and curse my hormones again.

"Of course, Gin. I'll set up the guest room for you." I'm grateful she doesn't ask questions. And I feel guilty for keeping so many secrets from my best friend.

"Thanks Azlyn, I'll be there in a couple hours. I need to finish some things at work then go pack a couple things."

I have just placed my phone down on the bed beside me when Calvin walks back in and hands me a stack of papers.

"I handled everything myself so this wouldn't become tomorrow's hospital gossip. Go home and rest. I'll see you Monday." He leaves the room before a conversation can start and I'm grateful once again for my friends respect for my privacy.

Draco and I don't speak when we arrived at home. I quickly and quietly pack some of my things before walking back down stairs.

"Ginny?" Draco hasn't moved from his seat at the kitchen table since we came in the door.

"I feel like I don't even know you. We have come so far and yet sometimes it feels like we haven't gotten anywhere. I love you Draco Malfoy and I am insanely happy standing by your side. Or I was. How can a man who wanted nothing more than to take care of a child who wasn't even his, be able to just throw away the life of his own child. After all I have been through. After all that we have been through. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for this."

I don't wait for his response before I am gone.

Harry and Azlyn are standing in the kitchen of their flat when I arrive. Harry takes my bags from me while I sit at the table across from Azlyn. We wait for him to return before actually talking.

"I don't want our family to know that Draco and I are…." I can't find the word but they don't need me to.

"We're not going to tell. It's just strange. You and Draco have only been married about a month. After all that's happened what on earth could be bad enough that you are here, Gin?" Harry sits with an arm wrapped around Azlyn's waist. One day they will make wonderful parents. And she will make a beautiful bride.

"Draco's ex came to visit me at work today." I begin and will my emotions to hold it together.

"Kristen? Honestly, I thought she had died or something." Azlyn looks shocked to hear otherwise. "What on earth could she have told you that caused you to walk out on your husband?"

"She told me that he paid her to terminate a pregnancy when she told him she was having his baby." I'm surprised I am not crying.

"Oh, Ginny" Neither of them pry any further so I excuse myself to go to bed.

It isn't until much later in the darkness of night when the empty spot next to me really hits. So I spend most of the night sobbing instead of sleeping.

How quickly it seems that everything changes and just once I would give anything to go back to the happiness that is ignorance.


	5. Never Say Never

**Ch. 5 Never Say Never**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**a/n: I know I'm terrible for making you all wait so long for each chapter. I've been dealing with some personal stuff and well as some bad internet problem.**

**Much thanks as always to icebabesfire for keeping my grammar in check.**

I've learned over the years that one should never say "things can't possibly get any worse" because they can and will. So, I know that despite the fact I'm not living with my husband. And despite the fact that the stress from that is not at all good for the unborn baby I am more likely to lose than to have. It will probably get worse. And it does.

Twenty Weeks. Half way there. It's strange to still be hiding my now visible baby bump. And whenever I'm alone I just hold my hand over my constantly wiggling child and will it to live. In four more weeks, though not with a great outlook, my baby could survive if delivered early. That is what I am looking forward to. I'm cautious. I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. And then I had to bury my daughter. The thought makes my chest ache and tears swim in my vision. I blink them back and return to my work.

Calvin has already asked me to start passing off my patients and to not accept any new ones. So today I am finishing the paperwork involved in such a switch. I've just finished the last one when Tabitha, one of the healer's assistants on our floor knocks on my office door before rushing in.

"Yes Tabby?" She looks stressed out which is never a good sign in this place.

"They tried calling you but I think your phone is silenced. Pansy Zambini just brought her baby into emergency. He had a nasty fall or something. Pansy is asking for you and I think Draco was already headed down from his floor." She fidgets when she is nervous. She is always nervous around healers and people in general. It is probably why she is not an actual healer.

"I'm heading down now then." I stand and brush past her on my way out.

By the time I reach the waiting room in emergency, my whole family has gathered. My mother holds on to Pansy as she cries and everyone sits or stands around looking worried. Blaise just paces back and forth and as soon as I step into their area everyone looks at me.

"Ginny!" Pansy stands. Tears are streaking her face and I notice for the first time that there is blood on her shirt. My stomach turns and I try to keep my face from falling.

"What happened?" I am staying composed, for now.

"I tripped. We were almost all the way down the stairs and I think I tripped. Oh merlin, what have I done." And she dissolves into tears again.

"Draco is with him then?" I ask and Blaise nods his head while trying to console a hysterical Pansy.

I am no help here so I do the only thing I can. I set out to find my husband. I haven't even spoken to him in a few days. Not since my last visit with Calvin which was Friday. That is the only time we see each other. It has been that way for weeks. I can't talk to him and never look at him. It hurts too much right now. But today, I am swallowing my feelings. Tristan is more important than my pain today. A nurse directs me to the room he is in and I take a deep breath before stepping into the room.

Draco is attempting to apply something to the gash on the baby's forehead while an assistant holds Tristan awkwardly. The assistant must be new, she looks uncomfortable and untrained. And Tristan is not calm at all. I probably could have found them by the screaming.

"Give him here" I command. The assistant takes one look at my badge and passes me the baby. "Now get out"

The affect is immediate. And Tristan calms enough to let Draco clean, medicate and bandage his head.

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask while he wraps a bandage around the baby's head.

"I hope so. I'm going to keep him here tonight. And have additional tests run in the morning to make sure." He doesn't meet my eyes when he talks and somehow he feels like a stranger. Not someone who has pulled me back from the darkness. My chest aches and there is something unsettlingly familiar about it.

"I don't understand how Pansy tripped down the stairs. Remember when we went to that party when she was eight months pregnant?"

"She came down the stairs in those five inch heels and Blaise panicked almost having a heart attack" I laugh and my ache in my chest fades away. "I still have no idea how she did that. I can't even wear my short heels now. I feel to off balance."

"Don't try, I would have a heart attack." Right now things feel okay. But as soon as our eyes actually meet and I see the sorrow in his eyes the ache returns. "I should probably send him upstairs and go tell everyone."

A different assistant walks in and takes Tristan. I don't leave though. Instead I wait for Draco to finish writing up his chart.

"How are you?" It's casual and feels awkward coming from the man I am married to.

"Alright, and you?" Why can't I just forgive him and move past this?

"I've been better." He stands and turns to face me. "I miss you. And this being separated thing isn't working for me. I love you and back then I did what I had to do to protect you. Telling you the truth wouldn't have made either of us feel any better. For years I have had this thing haunting me. I was terrified the truth would make me lose you and I'm beginning to think I am right. I am so sorry. But I can't change the past and fix my mistakes. If I could go back trust me, your life would be the first one I would fix. Come home. We are a family." He reaches out to me but I back away.

"I'm sorry. I can't" My chest feels heavy and I know I will be crying soon so I flee the room. I go back to my office instead of my family and lock myself away crying. I hide in my office until well after my work day has ended before going back to Azlyn and Harry's flat.

I toss and turn all night unable to sleep. The baby tosses and turns with me. By morning I feel no better than I did yesterday, so I call in sick without even getting out of bed. Azlyn and Harry both leave long before I ever get up and so at least for now I don't have to face them. I finally fall asleep after the sun has risen up into the sky. It is well into the afternoon when I finally wake and groggily go to take a shower. I am just going through the motions until I step out and magic the mirror clear to look at my reflection. I am so shocked by what I see that I jump slamming my head into the wall. My vision blurs for a moment before returning and I am left with a sight that is terrifying.

It only takes moments for me to throw on some clothes and apparate to St. Mungos. My visions warps again then clears and I briefly wonder if I have seriously injured my head.

In emergency the admitting nurse looks bewildered when she sees me.

"I thought you were off today Healer Malfoy." She is resisting asking me and I know it.

"I'm here as a patient actually. Can you find me a room and page my husband and Calvin for me. I seem to have slipped and hit my head."

She just nods her head feebly and then has an assistant take me to one the smaller patient rooms. It isn't until I am sitting on the table I realize I forgot to cover my baby bump. Maybe no one noticed but in this place it is unlikely. By end of day the entire hospital will know which means it's time to tell my family.

Calvin and Draco arrive together and Calvin looks at me like I have suddenly grown another head. Draco just stares in horror.

"You've never seen this before have you Calvin?" My head is really throbbing now and I reach my hand back to where the pain is. It's wet and sure enough when I put my hand back down there is blood on it. The sight brings both of them out of whatever trance they are stuck in.

"What happened?" Calvin takes step towards me to look at my head.

"I was a little shocked when I looked in the mirror and somehow managed to slam my head against the wall." I flinch when Calvin begins looking at my wound. "How bad is it?"

"Not too bad. I'll put something on it to stop the bleeding and wrap your head okay?"

Before I can respond, a sharp pain in my stomach takes me off guard. My hand flies to my stomach and a flinch. Draco is at my side at an instant with a look of panic on his face.

"This can't be happening again. Hermione said the curse was gone." He looks like a child, afraid of losing everything.

"This has happened before?" Calvin asks as he bandages my head quickly.

"When we were in school, but Hermione found the counter curse and got rid of it. Last time, it was slow and I was nearly dead by the time it looked like this." I wave a hand in front of myself.

"Are you sure this just happened Gin?" Draco looks wary. I don't blame him. I waited far too long to admit there was something wrong with me before.

"I'm positive, no voices no weird burning just woke up like this." I look past him where there is a mirror on the wall. Just the sight of blue hair and intricate markings covering my face makes me sick.

"So this is where the scars you have came from then?" Calvin runs a finger along the design on my face. He looks fascinated. "I honestly have no idea what to do about this. I'll check on the baby and admit you to watch it. As of today you are now on bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy. You made it farther than I thought you would." He stares for a long time. Then seems to remember he has work to do. "I'm going upstairs to arrange a room for you. My assistant will be down to get you in a few minutes. Just relax and don't get up."

"We should call Hermione, maybe she'll know what is going on." I suggest after an awkward moment of silence has passed.

"I'll call her after he checks on the baby if that's okay with you." Draco sits on the edge of the exam table.

"That is fine, I'm sure the whole hospital knows by now. I forgot to hide my stomach when I came in." Reality is setting in. All my fears have been about my baby not surviving. Not once have I considered the possibility that I could die. I could die and then even if the baby survives, I am gone. This thought brings tears spilling onto my face.

"It's going to be okay" Draco is trying to reassure me. But his voice has faltered. Now he isn't so sure.

"I could die." It sounds awkward coming out of my mouth. I've been so close to dying before. But this is so different. There is so much more at play here.

"I won't let you die." He is adamant and I realize something. I am more important to him than anything, children included.

"Draco, if things do get bad, and at some point the choice has to be made between me and the baby…" He interrupts before I can finish.

"No" He stands, he is angry now.

"Draco, just listen to me…" I try again, but Calvin's assistant comes in with a wheelchair.

My floor is quieter than usual when we arrive. There are more assistants and nurses in the halls then there should be. They all know I've been keeping a huge secret. And now they have all come out to see if I really look like what everyone must be saying. They all look so sad. I work with them. I am friends with most of them. We study this curse in the healers program. So they all know what it means. At least none of them know what I did to deserve it.

"Get back to work!" Calvin shouts stepping out of a room I am assuming is mine. All the people snooping quickly resume their work and I take a sigh of relief.

Once I am comfortable in my hospital bed, Calvin stands next to my bed with the ultrasound wand.

"One piece of muggle technology that is actually useful. Before we get started I have to ask if you two want to know the gender of the baby now."

"Yes" We had already discussed wanting to know. Especially since we had no idea what we were going to name this baby.

"Okay then, bit of cold jelly-like stuff." He gives us a reassuring smile and I jerk a little at the cold gel on my stomach.

For a solid minute it is silent in the room before a quick thumping gives light to my child's still beating heart.

"Is the baby okay?" Draco is gripping the sheets so tightly; I'm terrified he is going to tear them. I place my hand over his and he relaxes his grip just small bit.

"Well, my darling friends, it appears that your son is perfect." He points to the screen and I have to remind myself to breath.

"It's a boy?" Draco voice catches and I know without looking that he is crying.

"It's definitely a boy. And from what I can see he is perfectly healthy."

I can't speak. It no longer matters if I live or die. If the curse takes my life then so be it. As long as he is healthy it doesn't matter.

Nothing else matters.


	6. Seven Days

**Ch.7 Seven Days**

**Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter.**

**A/n: much thanks to my beta icebabesfire for keeping me from grammatical suicide. **

**Also make sure you all go check out In Between The Lines. It's a one shot companion to this story. **

**Enjoy.**

It's amazing how much of a difference seven days can make.

**Day 1**

"Your family should be here any minute, what do you want to tell them?" Draco is sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed, his long work day cut short.

"I don't know. All of them are smart enough to figure out what this is." I wave over my appearance to show what I am referring to. "Obviously, we have to tell them about the baby now. But I don't know how to tell my parents about the curse." I sigh sinking into the pillows.

"Ginny I…" He begins but a knock on the door stops him. "Come in"

I'm not quite sure whether it is my stomach or my son that does a nervous flip when the door is opened. Ron, Hermione, Harry, Azlyn, Blaise, and Pansy all walk in. Their faces are each a mix of shock and concern as soon as they see me. I am slightly relieved that they got here before the rest of my family.

"Why are you on the maternity floor?" Azlyn is the first person who recovers enough to speak.

"Because it is where they put the pregnant women" I reply.

It takes the room a moment to recover before Azlyn speaks again.

"I thought you were getting fixed. How long have you known about this because you've been living with me, and I had no idea."

"Why are you living with Azlyn?" Ron is more interested in this fact than anything else. "I'm confused as to why my best friend didn't find this information important enough to tell me" He looks pissed at Harry and Azlyn looks embarrassed.

"I screwed up and she left me. That's all you need to know and we are not telling anyone else got it?" Draco seems frustrated that Ron seems more interested in my living arrangements than in my health.

"But.." Ron begins but Hermione hits him in the arm before taking a seat. She is nine months pregnant now and due any day so her patience with her husband is all but gone.

"It's none of our business Ronald, besides I'm more interested in how the curse is showing up after we got rid of it." She stares at my face for a long time before speaking again. "Is this the only symptom you're having? No voices or anything?"

"This is it. I was so shocked when I stepped out of the shower this morning that I fell backwards and hit my head. How do I explain this to everyone else?"

"You don't." She answers. "We'll just use the same glamour that you used in school to cover it. Then everyone else will be none the wiser while I figure out what the bloody hell is going on." She waves her wand and I check to see that my hair has returned to its proper shade.

"Hermione, I can't ask you to help with this. You are going to be having that baby any day now that is what you should be worrying about."

"I'm doing fine. Besides I'm the one who was supposed to have fixed this. And I don't make mistakes."

"This isn't your fault Hermione." I reassure her as the door opens again. The rest of my family rushes into the room.

My mother wraps her arms around me with tears streaming down her face.

"I cannot believe you two didn't tell anyone." She wipes away her tears as she steps back.

"We didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. We didn't even think we would make it to this point." Draco answers for me. I am grateful for his presence today as I have no idea how long I will keep it together with everyone now knowing.

"So how pregnant are you exactly?" Fred asks as he shifts Amanda in his arms.

"Twenty weeks."

For a good hour my family chatters on excitedly about how much of a miracle this is and how things are finally looking up for us. If only they knew all the things breaking apart to give us this miracle. I know my smile is faltering and I am extremely relieved when Calvin comes and tells them that visiting hours are over. Once they have all left he sits on the end of the bed to talk to me and Draco.

"All of your tests are normal. The baby is healthy and you are healthy sans the obvious. In my best opinion I think the physical ramifications of the curse are probably just showing up now because a portion of this curse is so emotionally intertwined that your insane hormones are making it appear. I would still let whomever removed the curse the first time do some digging. But it may not be dangerous to your health at all and should go away again after you give birth." He gives me a reassuring look. "I can send you home tomorrow on strict bed rest which may last until you give birth."

"How do you know so much?" I question but am relieved he seems to think I am not going to die nor is my baby in any real danger yet.

"I've read just as many books as Hermione. And I had a thing for ancient curses when I was in school. I'll leave you two alone to get some sleep and will be back in the morning to release you. Goodnight love." He smiles before hopping off the bed and heading out the door.

"So are you going back to Azlyn's tomorrow?" Draco's face is serious and for some reason he looks much older than twenty. I miss him. I miss our bed and I miss our home. I miss our old struggles even. He is my soul mate. We have been through so much. Could this really be the end?

"No, I'm coming home. I haven't forgiven you. And I'm not sure I will, but this is our baby. So for right now, I'm coming home. I'll stay in the guest room for now." I answer.

"No, I'll sleep in the guestroom. Our bedroom has the better bed and the huge bathroom. You'll be more comfortable in there." He rests one of his hands over mine and seems relieved when I don't pull it away. "I know I have said this before, but I honestly thought I was doing what was best for us. And I am so sorry."

**Day 2**

I'm home for a total of one hour before I am bored out of my mind and pick up my laptop to aimlessly roam the internet.

"Gin?" Draco steps into the bedroom and I set my computer aside. "Are you busy right now?"

"Yes, I am perfecting world peace from this bed." I roll my eyes laughing at the suggestion that I am being productive. "Do you need something?"

He picks up the laptop moving it onto the dresser before sitting down on the bed next to me.

"We have a visitor who wants to speak with both of us." He looks nervous and I wonder briefly why he felt the need to sit down to tell me this.

"Who is it?" I question picking up my wand to perform a glamour on myself.

"It's Cynthia Bickman. She is his mother." He whispers. "She wants to speak with us. I told her I would see if you are up to it."

My stomach drops and I am sure my face has lost a couple shades of color. But I pull myself together and take a deep breath. I throw the blankets off of my legs and stand slowly. Draco jumps up and comes around to wrap an arm around my waist before lifting me into his arms. We don't speak as he carries me down the stair into our living room.

Sitting in one of the chairs is a woman I would recognize anywhere. She looks so much like her son that my body tenses just at the sight of her. Draco places me gently on the sofa and we turn to face her.

"I know this is not a very good time for you, but I have been putting this off for far too long. I'm assuming Draco told you who I am." She speaks with such a soft voice and I am shocked her son turned out to be such a monster.

"Yes I am aware." I am trying to keep my voice flat but I am sure she can tell I am terrified by her presence.

"My son was a terrible person at the end of his life. He wasn't always like that. I tried so hard to make sure he would not turn out like the bastard his father was but I failed. Maybe if I had been honest with him about who his father was then he wouldn't have turned from me when he found out. I don't really know. I've heard from a reliable source that you had a baby a few years ago and he was the father. I know that nothing between the two of you was consensual on your part and I am well aware that he was the cause of the baby's death." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "I came here today to speak with you about two things. The first is that I am seeking your permission to visit your daughter's grave."

"I don't think you need my permission for that. She was your granddaughter after all." I swallow hard and try not to let the tears in my eyes begin to spill.

"I know but the circumstances of her conception and death were terrible and at the hands of my son. I didn't feel right just going without your blessing. Besides I wanted to meet you. My son is gone and so is the granddaughter I never got to meet. Meeting you was very important to me." Her eyes tear up and I wish I had the courage to get up and hug her. Not that Draco would let me stand for more than two seconds anyways.

"What is the other thing you wanted to discuss with us?" Draco asks attempting to change the subject to anything other than the catalyst for years of heartbreak for us.

"I think the two of you should know who Travis's father is. I am not proud of what happened between the two of us. And before I tell you, I think you should know that he was aware of Travis. He has known about him since I got pregnant with him." She seems more uncomfortable with this subject than the first. "He was a married man and I am so ashamed of the affair I had with him. And who he is directly affects both of you."

"Who is he then?" Draco questions and I feel as if he is catching on to something that I am not.

"Lucius Malfoy"

**Day 3**

"Draco?" We haven't spoken since Cynthia Bickman left. We ate dinner is silence. We both went our separate ways to bed in silence. The silence is deafening and I am unable to sleep. So at four in the morning I give up and go to Draco's room.

"Ginny? What's wrong?" He sits up in bed and I know from his face that he hasn't slept either.

I climb up next to him in bed and lay down on the pillows.

"I can't sleep." I wait for him to lie down next to me and turn towards my face before I speak again. "What are you thinking about?"

"He was my brother" He whispers.

"Does that change things?" I ask.

"Not about how I feel about him or what he did. I'm not sure that I can hate my father any more than I already did. If anything it made losing Merci so much worse. I should have protected you more. I should have…" He trails off turning to look up at the ceiling and I know he is crying.

"It's wasn't your fault. You know that." I move closer to him and rest my head on his chest.

I've done this one thousand times before and yet tonight in this moment, it is the first step towards repairing something broken. It's everything.

We don't talk anymore and soon we are both asleep. Hours later, it's Draco's phone that pulls us from our comfortable sleep.

"Hello?" It's more of a yawn then a word and I can't help laughing.

"Where are you? It's awful noisy in the background."

"We are on our way." He hangs up and I give him a suspicious look.

"Hermione is in labor." He smiles and begins to get up. "Azlyn says Calvin is giving you permission to go. But you know your limits so don't make him regret it."

"You know what's amazing." I say as I finish getting ready and we begin to head down the stairs.

"What is amazing?" He stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks at me.

"We're next." I smile. It sounds so strange coming out of my mouth. Only five more weeks and the baby will be viable. If something happens he will be able to survive. Right now, that doesn't seem so far away.

"I know."

The waiting room is filled with our family, children are being passed from adult to adult, and everything is just general chaos. Everyone except for Azlyn seems shocked that we have made an appearance.

"What? You all thought I was actually going to miss my nephew being born?" I laugh as Draco leads me to a seat. His arm has stayed firmly wrapped around my waist since we left our home.

"You're supposed to be on bed rest." Charlie points out as he comes over and sits in the chair next to me. Clarissa is in his arms with a teddy bear. It is obvious his nearly three year old has bonded quickly with her father.

"I got permission, don't worry." I smile down at his daughter and my mind flashes to what this moment would be like if Merci was here. Would she be clingy to Charlie and calling him daddy? Or would she be Draco's little girl? My heart aches for a moment over what could have been.

"Aunt Winnie, I have teddy bear." Clarissa holds her bear out so I can see it. "Daddy gave me"

"It's lovely Clarissa." I bring myself back into what is as I respond to my niece.

Hours pass as we all eat, chat and wait. Before we know it the sky outside has shifted from day to night and people begin to fall asleep in their seats. I have barely nodded off when Ron comes running into the room with tears in his eyes.

"He's here and weighing in at eight pounds two ounces!"

We all jump up and in turn hug him, offering our congratulations. Then two people at a time go to visit Hermione and their new baby.

It is nearly midnight and I am exhausted by the time Draco and I make our way to her hospital room.

"Oh Hermione, he is perfect." I am enamored by the red haired baby in her arms the moment I see him.

"He is isn't he?" She has the smile I have seen on so many of my patients before. It's the new mom smile. It's not like any other smile. I can't help but think that soon I will be here.

"What's his name?" Draco asks as he looks over my shoulder at the baby.

"His name is Gregory Lee Weasley." Ron announces proudly.

"Do you want to hold him Gin?" Hermione lifts him up for me to take and I can no longer keep the tears out of my eyes as I hold the small blue bundle.

"Welcome to the world Gregory," I whisper as I kiss him on the head and then spend a few moments in silence taking in his perfect features.

"We should go Gin before Calvin finds out how long you have been here." He reminds me and I nod my head handing Gregory back to his mother before we say our goodbyes.

When it is time for me and Draco to go our separate ways once at home, I stop him.

"Stay with me, I sleep better when you are there."

He does.

**Day 4**

Draco returns to work the next morning and I am forced to spend the majority of my day surfing the internet. I'm sure I have lost my mind out of boredom by noon. I finally give up and decide to take a nap.

"_We can't pretend this isn't happening" I whisper. My head is on Draco's chest and I am listening to the steady beat of his heart._

"_You are not leaving me." He is broken. All the strength I am so used to is gone._

"_I'm dying Draco" A single tear falls down my face as I force myself to sit up and face him. The simple act makes me tired but this is not a conversation I can have while snuggling._

"_No" He sits up. He is not hiding his pain or his tears from me tonight. He knows._

"_You can say that all you want. It won't save me." I take one of his hands in mine._

"_We have not suffered all this time just so I can lose you. Azlyn is right, you are my soul mate. I refuse to let you die on me."_

"_You will be okay. And I will be with Merci." I sigh._

"_Don't, please, just don't" He can't even make a full sentence as he brushes a stray strand of blue hair out of my face. "Hermione will, she has to" I know what he is trying to say._

"_Promise me something?" I smile up at him._

"_Anything" He kisses the top of my forehead._

"_Promise me that you will not let your sadness consume you. We were better for having found each other even if we can't have forever."_

"_I promise." His voice cracks and for the first time, I hold him as he sobs._

I wake up to find Draco sitting on the edge of the bed looking down at me.

"What were you dreaming about?" He brushes a stray strand of blue hair out of my face. "You always look so sad when you are dreaming. Even when it's a good dream, you are always frowning."

"It was more of a memory. Remember the night before Hermione found the cure for the curse?" I sit up and prop myself up on the pillows.

"Yes, I remember. I try not to though. It was…" He trails off and I know continuing will only take him back to that place.

"I know." I reach up to place my hand on his cheek. "How was work?"

"It was uneventful which is always good." He smiles thankful for the change of subject away from my near brush with death. "Ginny, we should probably talk about where we stand."

"I'm angry you paid her off and more pissed that I heard it from her rather than from you when it happened. But you and I, we are soul mates. And marriage is for the good and the bad. So it's time we get past it. We have something far more important to worry about." I place my free hand over the small bump that holds our son and he places a hand over mine.

"I'll spend the rest of our lives making this up to you." He leans in and brushes my lips with a kiss.

"I know" I smirk deepening the kiss but he pulls away all too soon for my liking.

"You know we can't until Calvin says it's okay or the baby is born." He rests his forehead against mine and runs a hand through my hair. "Don't worry I'll make this up to you too."

"You better."

"He needs a name." Draco pulls away and looks down at my stomach.

"I know." I look around the room trying to think. We have never come to this discussion before. Not once have I ever named a child. My eyes land on a photo from Hogwarts. I'm standing with Draco in the center and we are surrounded by our friends. Harry and Regan are sharing a look while Carter rolls his eyes at his sister. Logan is holding Azlyn in his arms and she is laughing. Ron and Hermione are standing close together but seem almost afraid to let on how much they care. Blaise and Pansy are kissing without a care in the world. My heart aches for those I have lost. "Logan"

"What?' Draco turns and follows my gaze to the picture.

"We should name him after those who died to give our son a safe world to live in. So my vote goes to Logan Carter." I smile.

"It's perfect." Draco agrees before leaning down to talk to my stomach. "Hello Logan Carter Malfoy. You are our little miracle and we can't wait to meet you."

**Day 5**

"_I can't believe we are engaged." I smile staring down at my ring as we are getting ready for bed._

"_Do you like it?" Draco asks as he sits down on the bed next to me._

"_It's perfect." I answer. "I'm also in disbelief about how long you have had this ring and I didn't know about it."_

"_I can keep a secret." He smirks moving closer to me._

"_I'll keep that in mind." I laugh and run a hand through his hair. "I say we celebrate in the best way possible."_

"_And what way would that be?" He looks confused as I move away from him._

_I try to match his smirk as I stand up and lift me shirt over my head tossing it to the ground._

"_The naked way" I answer, unhooking my bra and throwing it near my shirt._

_It takes Draco a moment to recover before he stands and is standing in front of me. I reach out and pull his shirt off before pressing my lips to his. We stumble back to the bed and I fall on top of his chest still locked in our passionate kisses. I reach for his belt but he stops me and pulls away._

"_You need more time to gather all of your strength back up. I don't want to hurt you."_

"_You will hurt me more if you don't let me take off your pants. I'm fine and I want to have sex with you so you can either shut up and let me do all the work or you can join in the fun."_

I wake up to a phone ringing and grab it off of the nightstand.

"Hello?" I mumble still partly asleep.

"Ginny, it's Anne, one of the emergency healers from the hospital. I was trying to reach Draco is he there?" I sit up as I realize my husband is not in bed with me. I can hear the shower running in the other room and am relieved he hasn't left without telling me.

"He is but he can't come to the phone right now. Does he need to come in now?"

"No, it's just, his mother is in emergency. She keeps asking for him. Can you let him know?"

"Yes sure." I stand up and am not sure what to do. While Draco's mother has been a part of our lives since school, Draco keeps his distance.

"Ginny?!" I haven't realized that I have zoned out until Draco is standing in front of me panicking.

"Oh, sorry, the hospital called. Your mother is there." I hand him his phone.

"Why would she be visiting me this early?" He glances at the clock on the nightstand.

"Draco, I think she is a patient. We should go see her." I sit up and swing my legs over the bed but Draco stops me."

"The only place you are allowed to go is the bathroom. I will call you as soon as I know something but you are not going anywhere." When I roll my eyes at him, he grabs my legs and puts them back on the bed. "Have a nice day, love." He kisses me softly and is out the door.

I am now too concerned to go back to sleep, so I grab my phone and head into the bathroom to take a shower. I spend longer than I probably should enjoying the warm water before returning to my bed.

By the time Draco calls, I'm sure I have counted all the lines in our bedspread.

"Hello?" I answer more frantically then I mean to.

"Ginny? You know you can't have coffee right?" I'm unsure of whether or not he is joking because his voice sounds off.

"I know, love. I have just been losing my mind waiting for you to call. How is your mother?" I know the answer is not good before he even speaks.

"Not well. She has end stage heart failure and pneumonia. Apparently she has been sick since before we left Hogwarts but has been keeping it a secret." I can hear his voice cracking and I wish I could be next to him.

"So how long?" We are both healers and we both know how this ends.

"She might make it to the end of the week. I told her that you are home with the flu. I don't have it in me to tell her about the grandson she will never meet." He is crying now. It takes all I have not to join him in tears. I have to keep it together until I hang up the phone.

"Draco, is there anything I can do?"

"You can stay in that bed and wait for me to come home tonight. Don't stress over this. I need you to be relaxed and healthy. I need Logan to survive. I need you to survive. Do you understand?"

"I can do that."

"Good, Azlyn called me a little while ago and said she was coming over this afternoon. She said she needed to talk to you."

"I'll be here."

"I love you Ginny"

"I love you too."

I'm contemplating buying a muggle television when Azlyn arrives. She immediately kicks her shoes off and jumps up onto my bed next to me.

"What are you doing?" She smiles looking over at the web page I have open on my laptop.

"Online shopping, apparently muggles love it."

"What are you buying?"

"I'm thinking of getting a television. I've already read every book we own and there is only so much time I can stare at a computer screen before my eyes hurt. I've got to find something else to do in case I am stuck in this bed for the rest of my pregnancy." I shut the computer and turn to face my best friend. "Draco said you have something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Harry and I eloped!" She practically yells showing off the diamond ring on her finger.

"Are you pregnant?"

"No, we just didn't want to plan some huge wedding. And neither of us have any relatives so it just seemed pointless."

"I would say we should drink to this but you would be the only one drinking" I laugh and she joins in quickly.

"It's amazing how far we've come." She sighs placing a hand on my small baby bump.

"We've picked a name. I think you should be the first to hear it."

"Let's have it then."

"Logan Carter"

"It's perfect Gin. I can just imaging Logan wherever he is gloating that he gets a baby named after him." Her face is sad for a moment but she regains her composer quickly.

"I miss him." I admit, examining the group photo again.

"Me too, more than I care to admit sometimes." She sighs. "Do you ever wonder what would be if none of them had died? If Carter, Logan, Regan and Merci were all here?"

"All the time."

**Day 6**

"I don't have to go in Ginny. I can stay here in bed with you all day." Draco wraps an arm around me early the next morning.

"No, you have to go in. Besides you should spend as much time with your mother as possible. And Hermione is bringing Gregory over later. She found something she wants to tell me about." I kiss him on the cheek and playfully begin to push him towards the edge of the bed.

"Leave it to Hermione to still be doing research just days after giving birth. I have no idea how she does it." He laughs and jumps off the bed before I push him to the floor.

"Go to work, make some money so we can spoil our son rotten." I smile.

"I don't have to work so I can spoil him. My inheritance could buy us a castle but since you decided on Godric's Hollow, we are pretty well off and you know it. Besides you are on medical leave and still getting paid." He smirks kissing me on the cheek before beginning his morning routine.

_I am sitting on the edge of Draco's bed while my Pansy and Azlyn finish getting me ready. I just stare at the wall. I am not here._

_Azlyn slips my shoes on and Pansy finishes the braid in my hair before they both slip out of the room quietly. A moment later, Draco enters and walks over to stand in front of me._

"_You don't have to go. They understand." He whispers as he takes my hands and helps me stand. I cringe. The physical pain is a reminder of what has happened. Draco notices and lifts me into his arms like a child. "Let's just stay here. Please."_

_I shake my head in response. I have to do this. I have to._

I wake with a start and realize I am not alone. Hermione is standing in the doorway looking uncertain. In one arms she holds her sleeping newborn son and in the other a thick book.

"I didn't want to wake you." She speaks softly, careful not to wake Gregory.

"I can't believe I fell back asleep. I was awake, I promise. Come and join me on the world's most comfortable bed." I smile.

She walks around the bed and sits down. I watch in awe as she manages to open the book without disturbing the baby. She truly is amazing.

"I found this the day before I went into labor. I have just been too tired to bring it over. I found some research on the Curse of Blue. It can apparently only be placed on women and before you there were only two others to ever survive it. Both were part of an experiment at Azkaban. They were doing research on it. But most subjects died. They wanted to know if there were lasting affects after the counter curse. The first one killed herself only a month after the curse was lifted. The book says there was no suspected connection." I listen intently to what she is saying. This is life or death for my son and me. "The second woman was in Azkaban for killing her husband but it turns out that she was under a curse when it happened. She was freed from Azkaban just days after receiving the counter curse. She went on the remarry and have four children. It says that the symbols and hair returned during each pregnancy. But it had no real effect on her or three sons. The only pregnancy she had any difficulty with was her daughter. Most of the symptoms returned and her daughter was born extremely premature with a heart defect. The daughter died when she was sixteen waiting for a heart transplant. "

"It only affects girls." I whisper, relieved. I'm having a boy. This will never be an issue for me.

"Yes, I figured you would want to know this. Here you can have the book, I need to get home before Ron takes his lunch break. He comes home every day. I'll see you later Gin."

After she is gone, I can't help the tears of relief that flow down my face. I am still crying when my phone rings.

"Hello"

"Ginny, what is it what's wrong?" Draco's voice is strained. He sounds far more tired than he should be at mid-day.

"Nothing, I'm actually quite happy right now. Is that all you called about?" I know it is not and my heart sinks in anticipation.

"Are you sure?" He sounds off and unsure.

"Yes, now will you please tell me why you are calling? I know it's not just to check up on me."

"I don't think I am going to make it home tonight. My mother has taken a turn for the worse and I'd like to stay with her tonight. If you need me though…" He trails off. I can hear how hard it is for him to be away from me now.

"I'll be fine Draco. I'll order in for dinner and maybe do some online shopping. I'll see you tomorrow." His mother needs him more than I do. And if she passes while he is here with me, I'll never forgive myself.

"If you say so, love. Call if you need me."

"I will. I love you Draco."

"I love you too Ginny"

**Day 7**

I wake up in the morning. And I am all alone.

Eat lunch. No phone call. No Draco.

Eat dinner. Nothing.

I am worried and desperately resisting the urge to call him panicking because of this.

It's well after dark, nearly midnight when I hear the front door open and close. For some reason as the familiar footsteps come up the stair, my stomach knots in anticipation.

He always calls. Something terrible has happened.

My fears are confirmed when he steps into our room. His eyes are red though there are no tears in his eyes. His clothes are the same as the day before. He looks so much like a little boy, lost without his mother.

I do the only thing I can. I run to him and crash into his arms. It is one of the only times the motion has been for his benefit and not mine. My strong protector has wavered. And for once I am the one who is stronger. I am the comfort and the support.

I'm not quite sure at what time we finally sink to the floor. Nor am I sure, what time he finally releases the arms locked around me. I do know that I could see the sunlight beginning to come in the window when he finally speaks the words I have waited all night to hear.

"She's gone"


	7. As It Should Be

**Ch. 7 As It Shall Be**

**Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Harry Potter.**

**A/n: I know this chapter has taken nearly a year. I'm so sorry. Life can sometimes just take you by surprise. I've recently had my second child. It was a long and exhausting pregnancy. And I had very little energy for anything after taking care of my three year old as well. This story should have been longer. I wish it could have been. But as my life has taken on this new responsibility, I need to focus on my family a bit more. I love every single one of you that has taken the time to read my work and this story. Thanks for sticking with it.**

"_It's raining" Azlyn's voice is flat. Logan pulls her closer to his chest as we walk out of the castle. _

"_How fitting" Draco's voice is bitter and angry. _

"_Let's just get this over with." Blaise sighs and leads the way towards Hogsmeade. _

Weeks have passed.

Thirty-five weeks. At this point, if I go into labor, Logan will be fine. My legs hurt, my feet are swollen, I can't sleep, and I feel like there is an alien moving around inside of me. It's all so bittersweet.

I felt the same with Merci, but I was detached. She wasn't mine. But I loved her. I was her home. I should have been able to protect her. But I couldn't.

I can't help the tears the flow freely these days. Some are happy and some are sad.

When Draco returns from work he finds me in the nursery sitting in the rocking chair.

"Soon love" He sits on the floor next to me and offers his silent companionship. He lets me sit for several more moments before standing and offering me his hand. "I've taken my leave. I won't return to work until you do."

"I won't be full term for two weeks."

"I know but Calvin said any day, besides you know I can afford to take as much time as I want. And I want to be here."

"You're nervous."

"I am" He smiles. Words are left unsaid. It won't be real until our child is breathing in our arms.

_The water splashes up to my knees as we enter the cemetery. The small church sitting amongst the graves looks old and depressing. I want to run away. I want to go back. I want to stop what has been done. But I can't._

_My family is inside the church waiting. But no one speaks to me. They all just stare with sad expressions. The only one who can't meet my eyes is Anna. I don't blame her. She is mourning the child she should be rocking to sleep. _

Two days pass and it is strange to have him home. Last minute things are being finished. The nursery gets rearranged twice. He has checked all the safety precautions in our home at least twelve times. It's annoying and yet comforting.

When I can't seem to find comfort in my sleep; I make my way downstairs and find some obscure thing to clean. I'm nesting. It's strange to experience something I have discussed with several other women during my work days.

A few hours pass and I realize that perhaps I should slow down. I head back up the stairs and into the shower. The water is practically cold when I turn it off. I dry off and take a step towards my room when I feel water running down my leg. I brush it off as missing a spot with the towel, I can't see anything below my stomach anyway. Another step and way more water. I freeze. I'm a healer. I should know but it still takes a moment to comprehend. Then it sinks in.

"_It is a sad day when a new soul is laid to rest. Little Merci's life was taken before she ever saw the world." I don't know the man speaking. But his words cut me like a knife. He continues to speak but I am not listening. All I hear is the pounding of my heart and the rain hitting the roof._

"Draco!" I yell still unable to move from where I am standing. In less than thirty seconds he is standing in front of me. All of the color in his face is gone.

"What is it what's wrong?"

"Call Calvin."

"Why?"

"My water broke. He's coming."

Everything is suddenly a blurred rush. Our bags are grabbed. We both get dressed. And we are on our way.

Calvin meets us in the maternity ward.

"Morning Gin" He yawns. It's early. But he doesn't seem worried. "Let's have a baby shall we?"

This is real, It's happening. Years we have waited for this moment. And here it is.

I'm checked in and moved up into a room. I've done this dance with so many mothers. Never thinking I would be on the other side. But here I am.

Calvin checks me and smiles.

"It'll be awhile. Relax as best you can. Call if you need something for the pain. You know how this goes." He leaves us alone.

_The grass is soft. And my feet are covered in mud by the time we reach the tiny grave site. My entire family broke long before now. All are crying. Only two people here aren't. Draco stands next to me like a rock. There is no expression on his face, and I have no idea what is going on in his head._

_It still doesn't feel real. And every morning so far I have woken up only to be reminded that our link has been severed. I am all alone now. I couldn't protect her. _

A few hours pass and I can feel the contractions.

A sudden strong wave of pain overcomes me and I gasp, reaching out for Draco instinctively. He grips my hand and lets me dig my nails into his skin until the pain passes.

We've been in silence for a while now. As soon as I let him go he begins to pace around the room. He stops when he reaches the window.

"It's raining." He frowns. "It was raining then too."

"I know."

"I'm terrified of losing him." His voice cracks a little. I can tell he is crying before he turns to look at me.

"Me too" I feel the hot tears pool in the eyes before spilling over. "I didn't realize…"

"That being here, going through the pain again…"

"It's déjà vu."

"But it's not." He walks over to the bed and sits on the edge. "He's alive and healthy. And we are leaving here with a baby in our arms."

"But…" I can't finish the thought that is running through my head.

"Don't Ginny." He wraps his arms around me and we fall back into silence.

More hours…it's close to noon now. Calvin pays me another visit and checks everything again.

"Not much longer. You'll probably have this baby by sun down." He smiles. "Oh, and you're entire family is hanging out in the waiting room. You win for patient with the most people waiting."

"You're hilarious." I grimace as another wave of pain washes over me.

"Are you sure you don't want something for the pain?" He asks.

"I'm sure. Now go away before I kill you."

"You won't kill me."

"How are you so sure?"

"I have to deliver your baby." He laughs as he exits the room.

"Remind me to kill him after he delivers the baby."

"You won't want to kill him then." Draco smirks and I resist the urge to find something to throw at him.

_The little coffin is slowly lowered into the ground and the ground is placed on top of it. In a flourish of magic the gravestone slowly changes from blank to engraved. When I see the one and only date scrawl across the bottom, I finally fall to pieces._

A couple more hours go by. I'm exhausted and the pain is becoming almost constant. Draco looks helpless and I feel lost. How is it that when we were just kids we handled this? Looking back, I can't figure it out. But I know he is the only person I ever want with me in these moments.

An intense contraction hits and I scream out in pain. The color has drained from Draco's face as I am surely cutting off the circulation in his hand. Seconds pass before an alarm sounds. I turn my head and realize Logan's heart rate has begun to plummet. It takes less than a minute before Carter runs into the room. It is the first time all day he has looked unsure and worried. My heart skips a beat. This can't be happening.

A sharp pain rips through my abdomen and I hunch over crying out in pain.

"Carter! What's happening?" Draco's voice is frantic. I look up at him through white hot tears and notice that his entire face looks panicked.

"The placenta must have detached, we're going to surgery, now! Go get sterile clothes on. We'll meet you in the operating room." Carter orders Draco.

But as soon as Draco lets go of my hand I panic.

"No! Don't leave me!" I reach out for him again but it is Carter who grabs my hand.

"Look at me Ginny" I do "If we don't go now you could both die. He'll be right behind us but I need to get you in there now. I've seen you through this far, I'm not about to lose you or this baby. You can do this. Let him go."

I nod weakly still sobbing. A team of assistance helps Carter take me to surgery. I've done this as a healer. I've delivered babies by a muggle cesarean when necessary. I know what is happening, but I'm still terrified.

By the time I've laid down on the operating table and numbed from the chest down, Draco has returned. He sits down near my head and holds onto my hand.

It feels as if time has stopped as Carter begins to work. All the sound has gone out of the world things are moving in slow motion.

Then an eternity later I hear it.

A baby cries.

My baby.

He's here.

He's alive.

"_It's time to go Ginny." Draco's voice is soft as he kneels behind me in the soft grass. "Everyone else has left. It's getting dark. We need to return to school."_

_I nod my head weakly but don't bother moving. My hand is places firmly against the gravestone. I can't just leave her here. My body won't let me. Draco lifts me into his arms and begins to walk towards the castle._

"_I promise you that you will never have to do this again."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_I just do"_

Carter lifts him up over the drapes so I can see him before an assistant takes him to be cleaned and swaddled up.

All the sound returns to the world and I can hear myself sobbing in joy. Draco leans over and kisses my forehead.

"You did it."

The assistant brings Logan to Draco and places him in his arms. I can see the tears running down Draco's face.

"Hello Logan, I'm your dad. We've waited a very long time for you."

An hour later we are back in my hospital room. Our family has all visited and left. I'm exhausted and hurting but can't put Logan down.

"He's perfect" I whisper when Draco sits down on the bed next to me.

"I know." He wraps an arm around us and kisses the top of my head.

"You kept you're promise."

"What promise?"

"When Merci died, you promised one day I'd be back here having my baby. And here we are."

"Here we are." He smiles.

I've made it. For the first time in a long time I feel complete.

**Epilogue**

A year has passed.

It has been the best year of my life. Draco is an incredible father. And being a mother has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

It is the morning of Logan's first birthday.

Draco has gone to retrieve him from his bedroom while I get dressed.

Together the three of us sit at our kitchen table and eat breakfast.

"I can't believe it's been a whole year with him." I smile.

"I can't imagine life being any better than this." Draco replies.

"I can" I smirk.

"What do you mean?" Draco looks confused.

"I got a present for you" I reach into my bag for work and pull out a small flat box.

"What is this?" He takes the box from me still looking confused.

"Just open it." I laugh.

"Whose ultrasound picture is this?" He stares at the black at white image.

"It's mine."

"You're pregnant?!"

"Here we go again."

**A/n: The third story has already started being worked on. Now would be a good time to Author Alert, so you will be notified when it is posted. Much love.**

**Remie**


	8. Author's Note

It's been so long since I began these stories. So much has happened. And my writing style has changed so much. I owe those who are still sticking it out an ending. I know this. But as it stands now, this story has hit a wall.

And honestly so have I, my writing has always been my therapy. It helps with the anxiety and depression. But lately, I've lost my voice. And I'd like to have a reason to come back to it again.

So, the choice belongs to you. Any single person who is still reading this series.

I can power through and try to give it the original ending I had planned years ago. Or I can start again and write a better story with the ending it actually deserves.

If no response comes, the story ends here. I'm sorry.

And thank you so much for making me feel like someone is reading my work.


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